First Date Trauma

Friday night I decided to go to the George; the most famous gay club in Dublin. It had been a bit of a while since I've hang out with my gay crew so I was pretty excited. I walked into the club and my friends were already settled around a table so I went to the bar and got myself a pint of Budweiser, then joined them. Everybody was in a very good mood, it just felt like one of those nights when things just go well. After all; gay means happy and we certainly were.

An hour later my friends wanted to go out to the smoking area for a cigaratte. I decided to join them so as I could get some fresh air and a bit second hand smoke. The smoking area was packed as usual. Due to the smoke I could hardly see the faces in the crowd and just as it started clearing out I saw this guy checking me out. I kept the eye contact going and gave him a friendly smile. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable by starring too much so I looked back to my friends and continued with our conversation. I few minutes later I looked again but he was gone. I tried to quickly scan the area but he was nowhere to be found.

After my friends finished polluting their lungs and mine; we headed back inside. They went back to stand at the same spot we were on before but I had to get to the bar as I had gulped all my beer. The bar was all covered by people so I had to stand back and wait for my turn. Just then I felt someone put a hand on my shoulder. I turned to look and it was the guy from the smoking area.

Now that he was standing closer and without any smoky haze, I could see him a lot clearer. He was like an Armani suit; understated but captivating. He smiled and told me that he thought I had disappeared. I just laughed lightly and said; 'I'm glad you found me'. After a bit of a chit chat, he asked for my number and I happily obliged. He told that he was here with a friend and that he did not want to live her alone. I felt that it was very thoughtful of him. Most gay guys I know would just ditch the hag. So we both went back to our friends.

By the time I got back home it was about 4:00 am. I was exhausted from all the partying and I just wanted to go to bed. I took my phone to set the alarm and there it was; a message from the guy from the smoking area. It said that he was happy that he met me that night and that he was hoping that we could go out for drinks. I already had plans with friends for Saturday so we agreed to meet on Sunday instead.

Sunday afternoon I met up with C, KJB and L at Taste in South William Street for a brunch. All I could do was talk about him. We had been exchanging messages ever since and he seemed to be a great guy. Even as I was seating there sipping on my vanilla latte and talking to my friends, we were still texting. I knew it was rude to constantly send sms during brunch but I was really excited about the date, I just couldn't help it.

9:00 pm I arrived at Panti Bar but my date was not there yet. Ten minutes later he texted to say that he was running late but he was already on his way and that he would only be a few minutes longer. I didn't really mind given the fact punctuality isn't exactly a skill I have perfected myself. Actually; being late is the one thing about me that annoys my friends the most.

About twenty minutes later my date arrived. I was already running low on my beer so I offered to go to the bar and get drinks for both of us. When I got back I thought I would ease him into a conversation by asking him about his weekend but all he had to say was that it was nothing special. There was a bit of an awkward silence and then he began shooting the questions.

This was turning out to be a job a interview, more like an interrogation actually. The guy kept asking question after question and without giving me an opportunity to ask anything. The worst part was that his enquiries were quite personal. For example when he asked about my job he also wanted to know if it paid well. He didn't stop there; he also asked about my relationship with my parents and my religious beliefs and if they conflict with my sexuality! WTF?

There I was trying not to be rude but at the same time I didn't feel comfortable having to give all my life story to a stranger. I figured he was just nervous and that this was as much my date as it was his, if it was to be a successful one I had to help him out. So as politely as I could; I told him that I was not comfortable going too deep too soon. He was not happy and ended up telling me that the whole point of a date is to get to know each other. He suggested that I should I ask him some questions. I figured this was my chance to save this date from becoming a total disaster. So I enquired about his interests and hobbies hoping that we could find some common ground.

He told me that he liked to read news papers and that he was interested in politics. Normally I like staying away from political views on a first date but I figured it would be rude not to show interest in what he was saying. So I asked him if there was a particular political story he was currently following. He told me there is nothing that interests him at the moment but he did follow last year's American Presidential Election. I was glad he mentioned that because most people were happy with Obama's victory and I did closely follow that election. However; while he was happy that Obama won he said to me that he believed black people only voted for him because of his race and that's how he managed to win!

I was really getting uncomfortable now, I mean this guy is a lost cause. Now he was even bringing racial issues to our date. Oh, and he knew that I was mixed race as he had specifically asked me about my ethnic make up, right down to the percentages (I'm not even kidding). Wow, is he really this ignorant or was he annoying me on purpose? I don't like talking about the race subject especially with someone I hardly know. I didn't want to make things any more awkward so I just gave him a side a eye and forced a smile. However, what I really wanted to do was slap him and tell him to snap out of it!

Just then; he went outside for his fourth smoke and he had only been here for about an hour and a half. After every twenty minutes of assaulting me with deadly questions; he went out for a smoke. Leaving me all alone trying to recover from the dizziness he has caused me and before I got to recover he was back to attack me with some more verbal diarrhea. When he got back, he put his hand on mine and tried to kiss me! Is this guy for real? I mean; what gave him the idea that I would want to kiss him? It was revolting even just seating next to him.

After two hours of what felt like an eternity in hell; I had to leave. I gave him the excuse that I had to be up early in the morning so as I could get to work at 8:00 (I lied, I wasn't starting until 12:00). By this time what seemed like an Armani suit was starting to look like a pair of cargo pants in a discount bin at Pennies. He went from being attractive to totally repulsive.

As I walked home, I was glad to have made it out alive but I was very upset. Not just with him but with myself as well. Why did I waste two hours of my life being tortured by some idiot? After all my experience in dating; had I not learn anything? Why didn't I escape all those times he went out for a cigarette? Why didn't I save myself? Maybe the optimist in me wanted to believe that the frog would turn into a prince? I couldn't see it coming because he seemed like a sane person when we were texting before. I understand that people go on dates to get to know each other but that does not give one the right to be rude. Plus there is a little some known as first date etiquettes and if a guy asks a guy out then he should actually spend time with that person during the date instead of going outside to blow a cigarette all night long.

This is by far the worst date I had ever been to, my heart has been bruised by this whole ordeal. I'm still trying to recover from that horrible experience. I will not be going on another date anytime soon. I would be better off becoming a lesbian. Obviously I can't pull off being butch so maybe a lipstick lesbian? Surely if Lindsay Lohan can become one, so could I. After all lesbian relationships are known to last for eternity. They probably never have bad dates.