The Power of Boobies

They say there are two kinds of men in this world; a booty man and a titty man. I'm a titty man but first and foremost let's make one thing crystal clear; I'm queer dear. In fact I'm as gay as the day is bright. There is no confusion over my sexuality.

Now that we have that out of the way, let's get to the subject at hand - boobs. Yes, women's breasts are all the rage in every corner of the world. Some boobs are actually more popular than their owners. For example; whenever the name Pamela Anderson is mentioned for most people the first thing that comes to mind is her bodacious rack. She is not the only one; there is a number of women that have made a career for themselves solely because of their torpedoes. Jordan, Jodie Marsh, Carmen Electra and the list goes on and on.

Blimey! There is even a whole industry that was born out of titties - glamour modelling. We now have young women ditching their dreams of becoming teachers and doctors for a dream job in glamour modelling AKA being famous for having tits. I mean who needs intelligence or talent when you have boobs?

Think about it, boobs are hypnotising so much so that when boobies make an appearance it's hard for a straight guy (even some of the gay ones) to look at a woman's eyes while having a conversation. It's not the man's fault, blame the boobies. It's hard to concentrate on anything else when there is something so powerful staring at you. Before you know it we will have somebody's gazongas running for president or coming up with a cure for cancer. Boobs are smart!

We live in a world that worships tits. The media would collapse without boobs as half the outlets out there are focused on breasts. There are boobs on magazines, websites, billboards, TV and coming soon to your local radio station! In South Africa there is even a National Cleavage Day - celebrating the hooters in the country. Universities even offer degrees to surgeons that solely focus on boobs - plastic surgery.

And ladies don't play coy. Women know about this power they hold and I know several who will not hesitate to use it to their advantage. Why not? Most people would. A few female friends of mine have a habit of lowering their tops to expose the puppies so as the bouncer would let them into the club for free. Plus we've all heard stories about certain female executives who use a bit of cleavage to sign a deal. They have my full support, after all women have been professionally disadvantaged for so long due to discriminatory office politics. So I say you go girlfriend! Make that money.

OK, so I have been a bit sidetracked - back to my point now. My point is; I love women's breasts. They are special to me and it's not a size thing. I like them in all shapes, colours and sizes. From Scarlett Johansson's to Naomi Campbell's, Selma Hayek's to Lucy Liu's. If women did not have that monstrous and gross thing known as a vagina I would actually go the other way and turn straight just so as I can be closer to titties. There are many times when I've dreamt of snuggling up on Tyra Banks cleavage and taking nap, how wonderful would that be?

I find breast to be fascinating, not sexually but more as a spectacular form of art. Yes boobs are the Mona Lisa of body parts. I also appreciate the versatility; breasts are the one body part that can be maternal, caring, nurturing on one hand also be sexy and provocative on the other - depending on how you view them. As babies most of us depended on boobs for food and through breast feeding we bonded with our mothers. This just goes on to demonstrate the power of boobs; maternally and sexually. Perhaps this is why we live in a world that is so obsessed with breasts?

Tap That Ass?

It was a Friday night and I was really bored so I decided I'd call my best friend and ask her out to dance. I was all excited about the fun we'd have going out and having a few cocktails, basically just have a wild time as we always do. Unfortunately though; I got turned down. She was spending the night with her new boyfriend. I was a little disappointed but I understood where she was coming from. After all we did go out three nights the weekend before and we already had plans for Saturday night.

Having been rejected by my BFF, I had to come up with another plan. I was determined to have a fabulous night. I was in the mood for dancing and boozing and I was not gona let anything get in the way. I picked up my cell and started scrolling down the contact list trying to find a friend to call. Just as I was to hit dial, the phone started ringing. It was C; a male friend of mine with an addiction to the dance floor just like myself. As it turned out he too was bored and hoping to go out for some boozing and boogying. This was a perfect coincidence.

He suggested we go to Heaven. Not the popular gay bar in London and definitely not the one you have to die to get to. He was referring to a well known night club in Blanchardstown. I was a bit hesitant at first. For one; it is too far and second it's not an establishment with a very good reputation. However my friend gave me a few good reasons to go. He told me that he could get us in for free since he is friends with the manager and they have drink promos - cocktails for 70% off. That's it, sold! After all I'm not one to turn down a good booze bargain.

I got into a cab, made a quick stop at C's place to pick him up and we were on our way to Heaven. I was very excited; I mean if the place is called Heaven then it must be for a reason. Plus tonight had to go well; I was in the right frame of mind - I was in the zone. I couldn't see anything that could possibly ruin this night for me. On the radio was Black Eyed Peas - 'I Got A Feeling' my favourite song at the moment. This was just another sign that the night was gona be a good night.

As I walked into the club I realised that his Heaven unlike the one up above; it is not filled by god abiding people. Instead this was the playground of the sinful and I was loving it. After all it's the naughty ones that are much more fun. A quick trip to the bar and we would be ready to join the party.

After we got our drinks, my friend and I were standing around the bar scanning the environment. Before I could get half way through my cocktail, a group of girls passed and boom - I got tapped, right on the ass to be exact. I didn't know which of the girls did it but i figured if she tapped it , she liked it. Although I was obviously not interested as it's a girl we are talking about here, I decided to take it as a compliment and go on enjoying my drink. Funny thing is, if a boy had done this I would actually get offended but I guess I've always been softer on the girls. Plus I was wearing my freakum jeans so perhaps I brought this upon myself.

About an hour and two cocktails later, I was in a desperate need to take a leak. Going down the stairs; it happened again. I smiled politely and carried on. I was starting to get worried though. Are the girls in Heaven more aggressive than in other straight clubs? Was I looking sluttier than I thought? Where my jeans too tight?

When I got back I figured another drink and some dancing would lighten up my mood and get me more relaxed. A few minutes later C's tank was full and he needed to go to the men's room. There I was left to dance with myself, a situation that only works in the privacy of my own bedroom. Here I just felt subconscious. Anyways, I was still determined to have a good time so I decided keep on dancing the night away.

While I was dancing I felt another person dancing behind me and rubbing on my butt. I turned around and it was yet another woman trying to make a move on me. I smiled politely and told her that I was flattered but I was in a relationship. Her reply was; "It doesn't matter we are all here to have some fun". I thought it was a joke so I laughed it off and continued dancing, but it wasn't. The woman kept on feelin' me up. I was starting to get uncomfortable and being tipsy did not help. Even when I moved to another place the cougar kept on stalking me.

I know I should have told her that I'm gay to begin with but I didn't do so because of previous experiences. Some girls have reacted awkwardly when I informed them of my sexuality. Some even refuse to believe me and get offended. That's why with this one I figured I might as well just use the relationship excuse but it obviously didn't work out.

I was just about to tell her that; I'm queer so get out here but luckily I didn't have to as C was back to save me. I told him about the whole thing and he tried talking to the woman but she insisted that she was being friendly and that she liked my ass! WTF? Who says stuff like that anyways?

I have met my fair share of aggressive people but this one was just too much to handle. I was at a breaking point, I just needed to go home. My night was officially ruined, I was not having a good time. All my expectations were crushed. Pathetic as it sounds I was now even upset with my BFF for not coming out with me. If she was around the girls would just assume that she was my girlfriend as they always do and none of this would have happened.

As we were in the cab going home, C was laughing at me the whole way back. He thought this is one of those things that most guys would be excited about and here I was being a drama queen about it all. Well, it's easy for him to see it that way since he is attracted to girls. Besides, the thing that upset me was not that the girls were interested in me. It actually makes me happy to have anybody show interest in me, I take it as a compliment. It is the aggressive woman that made me feel objectified and abused.

My point is - male or female; whatever happened to starting with a simple 'hello'? And even more importantly; no means no!

Let's Get Acquainted...

First let's start with the labels. I'm a male in my early twenties. I'm living and loving in Dublin City. I like to live life to the fullest and experiences are the key to achieving this. I'm currently single and loving it. I'll be using this blog to give the single boys' opinion on boys and life. I'm not a professional writer so here is hoping that I can actually pull this blogging thing off.

One of my biggest addictions is fashion. I just love that clothes and accessories can be such great tools for self expression. Dolce & Gabbana is one of my favourite fashion labels ever but I can't exactly afford it so Topman and Zara will have to do for now. I'm also a huge music fan. i listen to anything that's good, if I like it - I like It. I don't really mind what genre it is. As I've grown up my taste in music has expanded. I do tend to listen to a lot of pop though. I'm huge Britney fan, in fact I'm what you would call a Britaloonie. Beyonce is also no doubt one of the greatest performers that ever lived.

As far as labels are concerned I'm more clear on what I want and what suits me but love is a different story. I'm still trying to figure out what I want out of love. When I say love I mean relationships in general. This includes the relationships I have with my friends, myself and the romantic kind. I'm hoping writing this blog will lead me to be better understanding of myself and others. For this reason; comments are most welcomed.

I do date but I'm not exactly ready for that whole till death do as part thing and I'm not sure if and when I'll be. When it comes to love and dating, I like to keep it light and fun. Having said all that; If the right guy comes along I don't mind being in a serious relationship. In the mean time I'm just enjoying dating and going out with my friends. Speaking of, I'm a huge party animal. I love to go out a lot. To me life is a party and I'm here to dance!... Well most of the time anyways.

I get bored easily so I'm always up for trying something new. I love, love meeting new people and getting others perspective on life. I like people who have an opinion and can back it up. Writing this blog will allow me to share my opinion and hopefully I can get the opinions of others as well. Who knows maybe we can all learn a thing or two. So don't be shy; if you have something to say - Go on right ahead.